Welcome

Welcome to mistergoldberg.com – Mister Goldberg of mistergoldberg.com is definitively “The Mister Goldberg”, and as such is a quasi-cartoon character and Picsilator based in Shanghai where he lives with Mrs. Goldberg and Minette Goldberg.

You may ask among other things, who writes like this? Or what the hell is a Picsilator? First and foremost, Mister Goldberg writes like this and a Picsilator is the maker of Picsils of course! Picsils are Picture Sequence Image Layouts and as Mister G sees it, a manifestation of digital photography and unlimited storage capacity in the age of digital reproduction. They are inherently Pixilations or stop frame animations but with an interactive twist because they can be played by the viewer who drives the flow and tempo of the sequence image layouts, much like a puppeteer.

Mister G's camera of choice is the Pretec DC530, a lo-fi digital camera shooting 640x480, 0.3 megapixels. Laugh yes laugh, Mister Goldberg is repeatedly laughed at due to the low resolution of his camera and the elastic bands holding it together. This is a cry for help! Mister Goldberg has been using the DC530 for 10 years; he had stockpiled seven units of which only three remain. Please help us help Mister G, by providing information on the whereabouts of more DC530s or if luck would have it and you’ve got one, send it in and receive a Free Subscription to Club VIP Super Cool - The Adventures of Mister Goldberg, a value of $1000 US dollars! Note: The DC530 has been branded Pretec, Premier and Konia E-Mini, any of these models is eligible for a Free Subscription to Club VIP Super Cool, again valued at $1000 US Dollars.

Now, for those of you seeking additional information about Mister Goldberg you’ve come to the right place. With a unique blend of pessimism, optimism, humor and quick reflexes, Mister G has managed to survive the adversity plaguing him since birth. During The Early Years he was stymied by a learning disability, then diagnosed with attention deficit disorder and placed on ‘medication’. (Are they still getting kids high on Ritalin!?!) Shortly thereafter, he was transferred to a specialized learning institute where he excelled to the dramatic relief of his parents who were afraid he was forever doomed to work in a gas station. Mister Goldberg kicked ass and won numerous scholarships, awards and somehow managed onto university - something the education professionals deemed 'unlikely'.

Glutton for trouble, Mister G moved to Shanghai in 2001 where he experienced dramatic psychological trauma induced by having been repeatedly beaten, robbed and hospitalized and by crazy culture shock. The cinematic nature of these events clearly indicated Mister Goldberg’s life was not normal; in fact, it was more like an HBO sitcom and had to be documented, which is when he stumbled onto the DC530, the cheapest digital camera he could afford. Remember he had just been robbed!

And with that said, your humble narrator will leave you to The Now Showing section of this website where you will find the latest Picsils. Might I also suggest you subscribe to Club VIP Super Cool - The Adventures of Mister Goldberg. I’ve signed up and so have my friends. Best thousand buck I ever spent!

Yours truly,
Admirer and Greatest Mister G Fan!

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